Feelings
by Kiki Morte
Summary: A killjoy story.  Takes place after Sing video.  Some Frerard. Party Poison finds a girl in prison and can't help but want to help her.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Not sure why I'm writing this but I've been having this dream for a while and I kinda feel the need to finally write it down. This is a killjoy fic taking place after the Sing video. Oh and I am putting some Frerard in here or Poison/Ghoul, however you want to look at it. Jet Star and Kobra Kid will also be around but not a lot.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the My Chemical Romance killjoys. As hot as Gerard/Party Poison is, I don't think my boyfriend would be happy if I owned him. Besides owning someone is slavery and that's wrong.

/

Unknown POV

I look at the man in the cage across from me. His head bent forward into his chest, his bright red hair hanging over most of his face so I couldn't see him properly. I chuckled a little bit before laughing out loud. I never usually laugh but I was happy. With another person locked up in here, maybe I would get a break. I notice that my laughter made the man wake up. Damn I was hoping he would sleep longer. His head lifted slowly and I stared into his deep hazel eyes. He looked so familer to me. I shrugged it off and glared silently at him.

Party Poison's POV

I could hear laughter. Why did I hear laughter? Did Ghoul do something stupid again and Kobra is laughing at him? No this laughter was more feminine then Kobra. I slowly lifted my head and looked straight across from me. Sitting on the bed behind bars across from me was a girl. Her reddish blonde hair swung down in front of her green emotionless eyes when she noticed me looking at her. Cocking my head to the side, I took in her appearance, short, very short and angry. Why was she so angry? I decided to take the chance and talk to her considering I didn't remember where I was, "Hi there. Where am I? And why the fuck does my head hurt so much?"

The girl laughed again, "Idiot. Guess they used stuns on you."

"This is BL/ind isn't it?" I guessed.

The girl rolled her eyes, "Regular Sherlock over here."

I shook my head slightly, "Thanks. I'm Party Poison."

Unknown POV

I knew it. I knew I knew him. I sighed before responding, "I'm Bullet's Embrace."

Poison glanced around the cage, "How long have I been out?"

I shrugged, "You were here when they brought me back from ray gun practice so probably a couple of hours. They usually keep me up there for two or three hours before they think the Dracs are improving. But with how long it's taken to capture you, I'm guessing they aren't improving at all."

No One's POV

The two glared at each other before Bullet's words register with Poison, "Ray gun practice? What does that mean?"

Bullet shrugged her shoulders, "Exactly as it sounds. I'm tired. Bye."

Bullet rolled from her sitting position into a curled up ball on the small bed. Her back clearly visible to Poison across the way. He could see every ray gun burn on her purple shirt. Poison knew that if he lifted her shirt he would see scars underneath. Poison sighed and laid down on the small bed in his own cell. His feet hanging over the edge. Clearly, there beds weren't made for adult captives. Poison turned on his side to look at Bullet again. He spoke softly as though he was speaking to a child, "How old are you?"

He could hear Bullet sigh, "I'm twenty two. I only look young cause I'm short."

Poison nodded even though Bullet wasn't looking at him, "How long have you been here?"

Bullet turned to stare at him, "Five years now. I'm on so many medications that the Better Living pills did nothing to me except I didn't feel anything anymore. Pain didn't register with me. Love didn't register with me. Fear didn't register with me. They took my boyfriend from me and I don't know what they did to him. He could be one of those blasted Dracs that are constantly blasting me at the practice for all I know. I stopped caring about myself. I just want to die but they never use anything more than the stun setting on the guns. I wish I could die."

Poison shook his head, "You don't mean that."

Bullet smirked, "Yeah, I do. Especially if I can't find Sean. I just want him back. Even if I can't feel love for him anymore, I just want to be with him."

Poison smiled warmly, "I know that feeling. If you know that much then you can feel something."

Bullet shrugged, "Not like I'm ever going to get out of here."

Suddenly sounds filled the hallway. Three guys came running in, two on the tall side with motorcycle helmets on and one short guy with a Frakenstein mask over his face. They stopped in front of Poison's cell. Poison smirked, "Took you guys long enough."

The short guy pulled off his mask, "Poison, you want out or what?"

Poison laughed lightly, sounding more like a giggle, "Get me outta here Ghoul."

Using a reprogrammed Vend-a-Hack, Ghoul unlocked the cage door, "Let's go. "

Poison ran to the door and stopped, he looked into the other cage. Bullet had turned back onto her side away from them. Poison ran to the cage bars, "Bullet, come on."

When she didn't answer, Poison realized that she had probably fallen asleep. Poison banged on the cage. Ghoul grabbed his arm, "Poison?"

Poison shook his head, "Jet, Kobra, Ghoul. If you guys had heard her story, you wouldn't leave her here."

Ghoul sighed, "Fine."

Using the Vend-a-Hack once more, her cage unlocked. Poison lifted the very light sleeping girl into his arms, "Now we can go."

Once the five of them were piled into the Trans Am, Ghoul turned to Poison in the backseat. He refused to let go of girl in his arms. Ghoul noticed how protective Poison seemed of her. A small spark of jealously flashed through his eyes before speaking softly, "Who is she?"

Poison glanced up at him, tears in his eyes, "A prisoner of her own mind."

Sitting next to his brother, Kobra leaned against him, "That's terrible. What happened to her?"

Poison shook his head, "Not my story to tell."

The rest of the drive to the diner was quiet. No one wanted to risk disturbing the sleeping girl. Once they pulled up in front of their makeshift hideout, Poison climbed out taking Bullet inside. He laid her on the table to let her continue sleeping. He walked back outside passing Jet Star and Kobra Kid. Kobra grabbed his brother and hugged him tightly, "Never scare me like that again."

Poison hugged him back, "I won't baby brother."

Jet Star patted Poison on the shoulder, "Glad to have you among the living. After seeing that ray gun hit you, thought we lost you."

Poison smirked, "Can't get rid of me that easy Jet."

Jet Star walked past him yelling back, "Ghoul is over by the car."

No one noticed the small body wasn't on the table anymore. Poison walked up behind Ghoul, wrapping his arms around the shorter man, "I'm sorry."

Ghoul turned and stared up into Poison's eyes, "You owe me for scaring me like that. I thought I lost you."

Poison leaned down and softly kissed Ghoul's lips, murmuring against them, "I never realized how much that could hurt someone before."

Ghoul leaned into Poison's embrace, "What changed?"

Poison slowly turned his head. He felt eyes boring into his back. Behind him stood Bullet, her vacant eyes taking in the scene of love before her. She spoke softly, "I remember that. It's love right."

Poison nodded, "Yeah, this is love. It's special and complicated and the only thing that can make you happy is seeing a smile on that special other person's face."

Ghoul blushed at being called special. He leaned against Poison's side taking in the girl and her vacant eyes, "Don't you know what love is?"

Poison almost smacked Ghoul before hearing Bullet's answer, "Not anymore. I think I had it once. I remember Sean. I remember wanting him to be happy. But then they took him and I stopped feeling anything from the pills."

Poison left Ghoul's side and pulled Bullet into a small hug, "I swear to you Bullet. We will help you find Sean. Hopefully, we can help you find feelings again."

Bullet nodded against his strong chest. She liked the warmth he gave her. She felt a small spark in her chest. Ghoul noticed her eyes gaining a little bit of light before going flat again. Bullet suddenly pushed Poison away from her, "I don't feel well."

Her eyes slowly rolled back into her head as she fainted.

/

Author's note: Yes another one. Well, that's the beginning. I know it's kinda rushed but I was moving at the pace of my dream and also I wanted to get more into the meat of the story which is what is really wrong with Bullet and them helping her find Sean. Going to be a lot more Frerard later on. Hopefully I get reviews. I like reviews they make me happy and put me in a nice writing mood.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: chapter two for you. Well, the one person reading this story. Yay someone is reading it. Anyway, was bored at work so I ended up writing more while listening to MCR on repeat.

Disclaimer: Again no owning of anybody.

/

Poison grabbed the slight girl from the desert sand and ran for the diner. Ghoul reached the door first and screamed inside, "Doc, help. Quick!"

Hearing Ghoul shouting brought Kobra Kid running from the kitchen area. His face was drained of color thinking that something had happened to his brother. Jet Star was right behind him with a small bag of medical supplies. A scruffy man in a wheelchair pushed past the two of them. Poison stood in the center of the room laying Bullet on the table again. He glanced up at the man in the wheelchair, "Doc, she fainted. What's wrong with her?"

Dr. Death Defying wheeled himself up against the table. He quickly assessed the girl in front of him. He mumbled to himself as he worked, "Pale skin, shallow breathing. Weak pulse and seems to be slowing."

Doc shook his head, "I don't know. I'm not a full doctor, you kids know that. I can treat ray gun blasts and bleeding and whenever Ghoul hurts himself working on the Trans Am but this. I just don't know Poison."

Bullet stirred slightly on the table but didn't wake up. Poison ran a shaking hand through his bright red hair, "They used her as target practice. Constantly shooting her with stun blasts."

The four gasped at him. Kobra laid his hand on Bullet's shoulder, "That's not human."

Doc slowly lifted the edge of her shirt. Ray gun scars lined her stomach and side. They could only imagine what they would see if they were indecent boys and took her shirt off her. Jet Star moved closer to the table and watched Bullet. He counted the rise and fall of her chest, "Her breathing is evening out."

Doc slowly shooed the boys away, "Maybe she just needs sleep. Let's leave her alone for a bit."

The four Killjoys nodded. Jet Star went towards the back where they had turned two offices into two bedrooms. Kobra Kid was still hungry and went in search of some Power Pup. Fun Ghoul and Party Poison didn't feel right leaving Bullet alone. The two sat down on the same side of a booth across from the table. Poison slide in first leaning his back against the window. Ghoul slid in after him, positioning himself against Poison's chest. Poison slowly stroked Ghoul's hair. The simple motion assuring and calming both of them. They were alive. They had Missile Kid back and she was safe with Show Pony. They had each other. Fun Ghoul let his head fall back on Poison's shoulder. Poison angled his head and captured Ghoul's soft lips in a searing kiss. Their lips moving against each other showing the need for the contact. Slowly breaking the kiss, Ghoul pulled away and stared deeply into Poison's eyes. He lifted his hand and lightly touched the rough skin under Poison's chin. The stun blast had burned the delicate skin to a rough imperfection. Poison tried to turn his head away but Ghoul moved his hand to Poison's cheek, and mumbled, "Still beautiful. "

Poison relaxed slightly, "Did you get hit?"

Ghoul looked away. He could never lie to Poison. Poison pulled Ghoul back against his check, "It's ok love. As long as you're safe now."

A small noise, almost like a scared kitten came from the table. The two looked at each other before moving over to the table Bullet was laying on. Her face was scrunched in discomfort. Suddenly her eyes flew open, the vacant green trying to register where she was. She quickly rolled on her side and was promptly sick on the floor. She started mumbling to herself, still not realizing where she was. Poison crouched down next to her to hear what she was muttering. He was shocked as he stood back up. Ghoul was next to him in an instant, he could see the look of fear in his lover's eyes. Ghoul didn't understand. What was this girl saying that could scare the fearless Party Poison, "What did she say?"

Looking his boyfriend directly in the eyes, "They are finally doing it. Finally killing me."

Ghoul's eyes grew wide, "That's sick."

Poison sat down shakily next to Bullet. He reached out and grabbed her hand. Bullet jumped, no Drac had ever touched her before. She looked into the soft hazel eyes of Party Poison, "Where am I? I'm not in my cell. I tried to ask you that before. I woke up on a table and didn't see anyone. I couldn't figure it out. We had been talking and then some noises and I finally let my exhaustion take over and next thing I know I'm on a table. What happened?"

Poison sighed, "My friends came to rescue me. I had them rescue you too. I couldn't leave you in that place. Letting them force feed you Better Living medication and taking pot shots at you. You fainted soon after you woke up."

Bullet nodded, "I see. I guess thank you is the proper reply for giving someone their wish. "

Poison raised one thin eyebrow, "I don't understand."

Bullet shrugged, "Without my pills, I don't know if I will live. So thanks."

Poison grabbed Bullet's arm as she tried to sit up, "What pills do you take? In some of the zones there are drug stores still standing maybe we can find stuff for you there."

Bullet shrugged, "I don't know their names just what they do. The red one normalizes my blood sugar, the green one is to keep my blood pressure from dropping. Two of the white ones are to enhance my immune system. Oh and of course, the last white one is the Better Living mandatory pill."

Poison nodded, "Ok, well I'm no doctor but maybe you will be ok for a little while. I'll have Doc radio Agent Cherri Cola and see if she can find anything similar."

Bullet sighed, "Don't you remember what I told you in the cell. I call myself Bullet's Embrace because I want to die. I can't feel anything anymore. Who would want to live without feeling anything?"

Ghoul stepped forward, "But maybe being away from the pills will bring back your feelings."

Bullet cocked her head to the side, "You are smart. Who are you?"

Poison chuckled slightly at the smart comment. Ghoul slapped his arm, "I'm Fun Ghoul."

Bullet nodded, "I see. Well you heard my name. I think I like you Fun Ghoul. Can't really tell but right here," pointing to her chest as she sat up, "it feels warm. Either I like you or I'm gonna throw up again."

Ghoul laughed, "Well, I appreciate it but I'm gay."

Suddenly the color drained from Bullet's face, as she was sick all over their boots, effectively cutting off anything more Ghoul was about to say. Lifting her head slowly, she mumbled, "Sorry"

The two guys just shook their heads. Poison placed a hand on her shoulder, "It's been a long day. Why don't we all get some rest?"

With that said, Bullet laid back down on the table. Ghoul and Poison moved back over to their booth, kicking off their shoes and resuming the position they were in before.

/

Author's Note: Just some fluff stuff with Poison and Ghoul. A little more about Bullet. Also for anyone that doesn't understand. She kinda talks monotone.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Decided to finish writing this chapter and get it up even though I'm not in the best of moods. I had stupid jury duty today and ….ah screw it this story is M rated anyway. Fuck my luck; I'm now on some stupid criminal trial. I'm sad and mad and torn up. I figured writing would help but not really. Not even listening to My Chem is helping. Ok, enough of my ramble, here is a little more of the story.

/

It was a rare occurrence but Fun Ghoul actually woke up before everyone else. He grabbed his boots from the floor by the table and pulled them on. He glanced over at his lover. Poison's red hair hung limply across his eyes. Ghoul reached out a hand and lightly brushed the hair behind Poison's ear. Standing and moving a different table, he pulled one leg under his body. He stared out the window, daydreaming about everything that had happened to them since becoming Killjoys. He pulled out his green ray gun and lightly ran his finger over the almost completely faded letters that spelled out Fun Ghoul. It wasn't suppose to be his name at first. He just thought it would be fun for his gun to have a name and him to be the nameless one. They all did. Then he thought about how cool it would be to have a gun named Fun Ghoul. He smiled at the memory.

Time seemed to fade back to the first time they met Show Pony. The brightly clothed boy on roller blades spoke animatedly at them for over an hour before finally slowing enough to guess at their names. Pointing to each of them in turn he said the names of their guns. Jet Star had been the first to say anything after that. They found out that someone named Dr. Death Defying was using their gun names as handles for the Killjoys themselves. Poison had just shrugged and said something about it being too late now to try to correct them.

Fun Ghoul laughed to himself a little. A noticeable creek of the wooden floor sounded behind him. Spinning quickly and pointing his gun at the chest of whoever was trying to sneak up on him. Ghoul sighed. Bullet stood behind him, her head nodding slightly. Her vacant eyes could almost be telling him to shoot her right now. Ghoul lowered his gun, "You shouldn't sneak up on people."

Bullet's vacant eyes stared deep into his. He squirmed under her stare. Her eyes seemed to bore into him, searching him. He shook his head, breaking himself of the spell her vacant eyes held over him. Getting up slowly, so to not scare her, he smiled, "Hey Bullet, how are you feeling?"

Bullet tilted her head to the side, "I guess Poison was right to laugh at me for calling you smart."

Ghoul shook his dark chocolate locks out of his eyes, "I meant do you still feel like you are going to throw up or do you want some food? I think there are a couple of cans of Power Pup around here. We might have to make another run if Cherri doesn't bring some back with her."

Bullet blinked slowly, "I think I can eat something. And I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to get sick on you."

Ghoul waved her off. He walked over to the kitchen type area. The door had long been ripped off, so even in the kitchen he could still keep his eyes on her. He grabbed two cans of Power Pup and used the can opener to slice them open. Walking out with the cans and two sporks, he spoke softly, "Think nothing of it. Poison, well, he used to have a bit of a problem with some stuff and well before we were lovers we were best friends. I was always there with him. Holding back his long hair, making him hangover cures. The works. I'm kinda used to being thrown up on."

Bullet looked over at Poison. He was still asleep but she could see his one arm moving searching out the missing person. He would probably wake up when his arm failed to find said person. Bullet could feel the sides of her lips perk up, "You really love him don't you?"

Ghoul nodded, "Yeah. More than either of us realized before he got shot. It was all fun and games before that. Before we went on that last mission to get back Missile Kid, I told him just how much I loved him and if he died then I would. When I saw that shot go through his chin, I really thought I lost him. I didn't care anymore. I shoved Jet and Missile out the door and went suicidal. I didn't care if I died because I didn't have Poison anymore. When I awoke hours later to find I was still alive, I knew that Poison had to be too. I made Kobra and Jet come with me. I knew there was only one place they would take him outside of Battery City. Zone One. It was the training center for Dracs. Korse has wanted us ever since the first time we disturbed one of his plans."

Bullet nodded along with everything that Ghoul said. His words seemed to put her in a trance. She fumbled for words before finding what she wanted to say, "That's beautiful. I wonder if Sean is looking for me."

Ghoul reached over and lightly touched her arm, "I'm sure he is. As long as he wasn't Draced then I'm sure he is with another Killjoy group hoping to break in there and find you."

Bullet rubbed at her forehead, "Strange."

Ghoul looked at her worried, "What'sa matter Sugar?"

Bullet stared at him again. Only this time her eyes weren't vacant. A small spark seemed to hide deep within them, "I don't know. Parts of my head just hurt. Like something wants to come out but can't. I think I should lie down again."

Ghoul nodded, "That's fine. Rest. You've had a rough day since yesterday."

Bullet slowly stood and walked over to the table that had been her bed. She laid down on top and slightly turned her head to look at Ghoul, "Thank you."

/

Author's Note: Yeah, that's where I'm ending it for now. I kinda wanted a nice little thoughtful chapter with some sweet stuff thrown in. Next chapter. Show Pony shows up. Maybe. Maybe some Jet Star and Kobra Kid stuff. They need some loving in this fic. That and my boyfriend is a bassist so I gotta give some love to Mikey.


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